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nonelikemesinceSo far, the entire trip had consisted of going over their plan point-by-point and going through training drills with the YVH combat droids who would be accompanying them. That might've been more stressful if it wasn't the best way to keep themselves from freaking out over how they were going into a mission with a statistically less than optimal chance of success. (With Ulaha on the team, they knew exactly how statistically less than optimal it was, and at the moment that was 76 percent.)
They did have a plan, one that had been developed in committee with input from Anakin's father and then extensively vetted by Uncle Luke. They weren't going into this unprepared, and this wasn't going to be another case of him jumping in feet first and figuring out what to do afterward.
The problem, Anakin realized as he listened to their latest conversation devolve into an argument about whether accomplishing their mission objectives was worth the risk of treading too closely to the Dark Side, was that none of their planning had prepared him for the reality of commanding this mission. Yes, he'd been in charge of the operation to capture voxyn for Cilghal's analysis, but those had been small strike teams, quick missions with plenty of support.
He'd never been responsible for the lives of sixteen Jedi on a mission of this importance before, and have to live with the knowledge that out of those sixteen, not all of them would come back. At the moment they weren't even sure all of them would survive the torture they expected to undergo when they let themselves get captured. Why had Lando even brought up the possibility of them having to do things they might not want to? If he hadn't said anything, they might not be . . .
Having this argument now. Better now than later. Having Lando transport the strike team and "turn them over" to the Yuuzhan Vong had been Leia's idea, and Anakin had no doubt she'd counted on him to provoke this argument so they could get it out of their systems now. It was still up to him to resolve it, though.
"Quiet," he ordered, but it was drowned out by the continued argument until he put the full weight of Force suggestion behind his voice and yelled, "Shut up! That's an order!"
They all fell silent and stared at him in surprise; Anakin ignored the discomfort of their attention and fixed a pointed glare on Raynar and Alema, who'd been arguing most vehemently in favor of doing whatever it took to accomplish the mission, and exacting vengeance for their fallen friends. "No one is turning to the dark side on this mission. Is that clear?"
The tips of Alema's lekku curled up in indignation, and she protested, "I didn't mean to suggest that we should, only that we can't shy --"
"Is that clear?" Anakin repeated through his teeth, and sensed a certain smugness from Tahiri, who wasn't remotely inclined to be nice to her. He turned to Raynar, got his reluctant agreement, then addressed the others -- Zekk and Jacen in particular. "But Lando's right. We may have to do some things we don't feel good about, and do them quickly. If you can't live with that, maybe you should catch a ride home on the freighter."
Jacen looked slightly dubious. "What kind of things? If we talk about our limits now --"
"Jacen!" Anakin had to use a Jedi relaxation technique to keep himself calm and not glare at his brother outright; if he kept being this reluctant and questioning everything, it wasn't going to do the team any good. "Can you do this?"
Jacen didn't answer; he looked around the group instead, wordlessly seeking support, and he got it from several of the Jedi: all of them could sense as much in the Force. And that was only going to fracture the team's cohesiveness further.
So what was Anakin going to do? Remove his brother from the mission? Jacen's insistence on coming along in the first place had been the first conciliatory gesture either of them had made toward the other since early on in the war; Anakin had been hoping they could build on that from here. If he ordered Jacen to go home it would just open the rift between them again, but he'd promised Jaina in Fandom that he'd do what needed to be done, and not make things about him. If the mission's success depended on risking his relationship with his brother forever . . .
"Jacen," he said, his mouth dry, "maybe --"
"Anakin, I've had a brainstorm!" Jaina exclaimed, enthusiastic in the way that came with a slightly desperate need to stop something bad before it happened. "You know how we've been worried about the breaking?"
With the Yuuzhan Vong as invested as they were in finding out the location of the Jedi base, it was a foregone conclusion that they would attempt to forcibly extract the information from the strike team. "Yeah . . . what's that have to do with what we're talking about?"
"You remember how we used that telepathic Force union during that first Yuuzhan Vong attack at Dubrillion?"
Tenel Ka saw where she was going with it, and voiced her agreement. "This is a good plan. Every interrogator knows that mental isolation is key to breaking a victim's resistance."
Anakin swore under his breath. He'd thought of that, and of the Barabels' "meld-fight," as they called it, at Froz, and tried to apply them to battle tactics, but he hadn't thought of this. Evidently, Jaina had. He nodded slowly. "An interesting possibility."
"But we'd need Jacen." Jaina was firm on this point. "He's the only one with enough empathic power to bind us all together."
What worried Anakin, who was thinking of Ender's warning about a meld like this being overwhelming, was the equal possibility that Jacen's presence could make things worse. But now everyone was looking at him, waiting for a decision. One way or another, there was going to be dissent among the team, but if he sent Jacen home it wouldn't sit well with Tenel Ka, or Zekk, or the good half of the team that sided with him. He didn't have a choice now.
"Fine. But Jacen, you have to do what I say when I say it." Anakin looked him in the eye, squarely, for what might have been the first time in a couple of years. "If something feels wrong, it's on my head, not yours. If you can't live with that, I'm sorry, but you can't come."
It felt like one of the worst things he'd ever had to say in his life.
"I trust your judgment, Anakin," Jacen answered without hesitation. "I really do."
Why did that not sound as reassuring as he would have liked?
[OOC: NFI/NFB/OOC-okay, TBC, Star by Star by Troy Denning is where I'm adapting this stuff from, you know the drill. There is nothing too horrible in this one, just people arguing and sibling drama.]
They did have a plan, one that had been developed in committee with input from Anakin's father and then extensively vetted by Uncle Luke. They weren't going into this unprepared, and this wasn't going to be another case of him jumping in feet first and figuring out what to do afterward.
The problem, Anakin realized as he listened to their latest conversation devolve into an argument about whether accomplishing their mission objectives was worth the risk of treading too closely to the Dark Side, was that none of their planning had prepared him for the reality of commanding this mission. Yes, he'd been in charge of the operation to capture voxyn for Cilghal's analysis, but those had been small strike teams, quick missions with plenty of support.
He'd never been responsible for the lives of sixteen Jedi on a mission of this importance before, and have to live with the knowledge that out of those sixteen, not all of them would come back. At the moment they weren't even sure all of them would survive the torture they expected to undergo when they let themselves get captured. Why had Lando even brought up the possibility of them having to do things they might not want to? If he hadn't said anything, they might not be . . .
Having this argument now. Better now than later. Having Lando transport the strike team and "turn them over" to the Yuuzhan Vong had been Leia's idea, and Anakin had no doubt she'd counted on him to provoke this argument so they could get it out of their systems now. It was still up to him to resolve it, though.
"Quiet," he ordered, but it was drowned out by the continued argument until he put the full weight of Force suggestion behind his voice and yelled, "Shut up! That's an order!"
They all fell silent and stared at him in surprise; Anakin ignored the discomfort of their attention and fixed a pointed glare on Raynar and Alema, who'd been arguing most vehemently in favor of doing whatever it took to accomplish the mission, and exacting vengeance for their fallen friends. "No one is turning to the dark side on this mission. Is that clear?"
The tips of Alema's lekku curled up in indignation, and she protested, "I didn't mean to suggest that we should, only that we can't shy --"
"Is that clear?" Anakin repeated through his teeth, and sensed a certain smugness from Tahiri, who wasn't remotely inclined to be nice to her. He turned to Raynar, got his reluctant agreement, then addressed the others -- Zekk and Jacen in particular. "But Lando's right. We may have to do some things we don't feel good about, and do them quickly. If you can't live with that, maybe you should catch a ride home on the freighter."
Jacen looked slightly dubious. "What kind of things? If we talk about our limits now --"
"Jacen!" Anakin had to use a Jedi relaxation technique to keep himself calm and not glare at his brother outright; if he kept being this reluctant and questioning everything, it wasn't going to do the team any good. "Can you do this?"
Jacen didn't answer; he looked around the group instead, wordlessly seeking support, and he got it from several of the Jedi: all of them could sense as much in the Force. And that was only going to fracture the team's cohesiveness further.
So what was Anakin going to do? Remove his brother from the mission? Jacen's insistence on coming along in the first place had been the first conciliatory gesture either of them had made toward the other since early on in the war; Anakin had been hoping they could build on that from here. If he ordered Jacen to go home it would just open the rift between them again, but he'd promised Jaina in Fandom that he'd do what needed to be done, and not make things about him. If the mission's success depended on risking his relationship with his brother forever . . .
"Jacen," he said, his mouth dry, "maybe --"
"Anakin, I've had a brainstorm!" Jaina exclaimed, enthusiastic in the way that came with a slightly desperate need to stop something bad before it happened. "You know how we've been worried about the breaking?"
With the Yuuzhan Vong as invested as they were in finding out the location of the Jedi base, it was a foregone conclusion that they would attempt to forcibly extract the information from the strike team. "Yeah . . . what's that have to do with what we're talking about?"
"You remember how we used that telepathic Force union during that first Yuuzhan Vong attack at Dubrillion?"
Tenel Ka saw where she was going with it, and voiced her agreement. "This is a good plan. Every interrogator knows that mental isolation is key to breaking a victim's resistance."
Anakin swore under his breath. He'd thought of that, and of the Barabels' "meld-fight," as they called it, at Froz, and tried to apply them to battle tactics, but he hadn't thought of this. Evidently, Jaina had. He nodded slowly. "An interesting possibility."
"But we'd need Jacen." Jaina was firm on this point. "He's the only one with enough empathic power to bind us all together."
What worried Anakin, who was thinking of Ender's warning about a meld like this being overwhelming, was the equal possibility that Jacen's presence could make things worse. But now everyone was looking at him, waiting for a decision. One way or another, there was going to be dissent among the team, but if he sent Jacen home it wouldn't sit well with Tenel Ka, or Zekk, or the good half of the team that sided with him. He didn't have a choice now.
"Fine. But Jacen, you have to do what I say when I say it." Anakin looked him in the eye, squarely, for what might have been the first time in a couple of years. "If something feels wrong, it's on my head, not yours. If you can't live with that, I'm sorry, but you can't come."
It felt like one of the worst things he'd ever had to say in his life.
"I trust your judgment, Anakin," Jacen answered without hesitation. "I really do."
Why did that not sound as reassuring as he would have liked?
[OOC: NFI/NFB/OOC-okay, TBC, Star by Star by Troy Denning is where I'm adapting this stuff from, you know the drill. There is nothing too horrible in this one, just people arguing and sibling drama.]
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